How to Take Control of Your Career (Even If Your Manager is Useless)
Ever sat at your desk, staring at your screen, wondering how on earth you got here? You’re good at your job (great, actually), but something feels off. You’re overworked, under-recognised, and starting to suspect your boss wouldn’t notice if you were replaced by a slightly intelligent potted plant. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
In this week’s Women Work Wellbeing podcast, I spoke to workplace expert and career consultant Tessa Grint, who spent 17 years in corporate before realising she was chasing a job she didn’t even want. Now, she helps people redesign a working life that truly lights them up.
If you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, or just plain done with office politics, keep reading—this one’s for you.
Why Are So Many Women Unhappy at Work?
First things first, let’s talk about why so many women feel unfulfilled in their careers. Spoiler: it’s not because we’re bad at our jobs. Quite the opposite.
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that if we just work harder, we’ll be noticed. We’ll be promoted. We’ll finally get paid what we’re worth. But as Tessa put it: “Nobody gets promoted for having an inbox at zero.”
We’re doing the admin, the emotional labour, the ‘keeping everything ticking over’—and we’re exhausted. But if we don’t take control of our career, nothing changes.
Step One: Recognise That You’re in Charge (Not Your Boss)
If you’re waiting for your manager to notice you and reward you accordingly, you might be waiting forever. The hard truth? No one else is going to do this for you.
Tessa had this revelation after working with a coach and a manager who actually asked, “Are you even enjoying your job?” She realised she wasn’t. And the scariest part? She wasn’t sure what she wanted instead.
So, here’s your first action step: Write your dream job description.
What would your perfect role look like? Forget your current job title—what are the tasks that actually make you feel energised? What do you hate doing? If you’re not sure, start paying attention to when you feel most engaged (and when you’d rather be watching paint dry).
Step Two: Stop Playing Small and Start Speaking Up
You don’t need to be the loudest person in the room, but you do need a visibility strategy.
Many women assume that if they just keep working hard, someone will notice. But as Tessa wisely pointed out: “You’ve got to tell people what you’re doing. Otherwise, they’ll assume you’re just quietly existing.”
Here’s how to take control of your career and make yourself impossible to ignore:
- Identify the decision-makers—Who actually has the power to give you a promotion or pay rise? Hint: It’s probably not just your direct manager.
- Be seen in the right places—Join company Slack channels, speak up in meetings, contribute in ways that make an impact.
- Talk about your wins—This doesn’t mean bragging. It means framing your achievements in terms of how they benefit the business.
- Make allies—Find mentors, advocates, and people who will mention your name in rooms you’re not in.
Step Three: If Your Manager is Rubbish, Manage Up
Not all managers are created equal. Some will champion you, challenge you, and help you grow. Others… won’t.
If you’ve got a boss who never checks in, doesn’t seem invested in your progress, or has the emotional intelligence of a teaspoon, you need to manage up.
Start by setting the agenda. Request a meeting and say: “I’ve been thinking about where I add the most value to the company. I’d love to discuss how I can focus more on high-impact work.”
If they’re still unhelpful, start documenting everything—your contributions, your wins, your value. If you need to go over their head later, you’ll have the receipts.
Step Four: Ask for More Money (Without Wanting to Vomit)
The gender pay gap is still very real, and women are less likely to negotiate their salary than men. Why? Because we’ve been taught to be grateful rather than assertive.
Here’s how to ask for more money and get it:
Do your research—Check industry salary benchmarks. Know your worth.
Gather evidence—Track your achievements, especially anything that saved the company time, money, or improved efficiency.
Practise the conversation—Rehearse with a friend or in front of a mirror (yes, really). 💡
Don’t justify too much—You don’t need to explain why you deserve more—just state your case confidently.
Tessa’s take? “The answer is already no if you don’t ask.”
Step Five: Design a Career That Works for You
Work doesn’t have to be soul-sucking. You don’t have to accept whatever scraps of recognition come your way.
If you’re feeling unfulfilled, stuck, or underpaid, take a step back and ask: What do I actually want?
Maybe it’s a better work-life balance. Maybe it’s a leadership role. Maybe it’s getting paid what you actually deserve. Whatever it is, know this:
- You have more power than you think.
- You don’t have to wait for permission.
- Small, strategic changes can lead to massive career shifts.
Ready to Take Control of Your Career? Listen to the Full Podcast Episode
This blog just scratches the surface of what we covered in this week’s podcast. If you want real, actionable advice from someone who’s been there and made it happen, listen to the full episode with Tessa Grint now.
🎧 [Listen here] and start creating a career that actually lights you up.
And remember—if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Time to start asking.
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